The Secrets of the Starbucks Lovers
by Larissa Zageris & Kitty Curran
First posted March 2017
This review outlasted the Astor Place Starbucks, which is bonkers to me. That Astor Place K-Mart, too.
Taylor Swift, however, has only grown more powerful. On the eve of her boyfriend’s big game, when she’s swirling around in the news again, let’s capitalize with a little stolen valor.
Actually, the book was a really cute Nancy Drew-like. Thumbs up for making it happen, authors. One of my only not-regrets from my mid-2010s kickstarter habit.
That I know the title is an in-joke borne from oft-misheard Blank Space lyrics; that the cat—the first of many, many tiny SVU nods—is named Detective Olivia Benson; that Taylor Swift’s rough-and-tumble partner is Lorde:
Lorde rolled her eyes, but unrolled them almost instantly at the sight of Taylor’s expertly arched eyebrow.
That I laughed out loud at least eight times in seventy pages, particularly at the back-page order form for the forty nonexistent other books in the series. And the sister-series Ed Sheeran Adventures. And darker spin-off Taylor Swift Case Files.
These are just a few of the things that make the book a real treat. As the pair of pop icons flounce around specifically referenced NYC Starbucks locations, Taylor Swift: Girl Detective: The Secrets of the Starbucks Lovers thoroughly enjoys itself:
Allen Lagh-Jeaky’s aristocratically blue eyes widened. “A Girl Detective?”
Taylor disguised a slightly disappointed sigh. “For lack of a catchier-yet-still-feminist term, yes. And you have met me in the middle of quite a mystery.
Really goofy fun. Did you spot the anagram in the disarmingly British man’s name?:
Allen Lagh-Jeaky fluttered his eyelids in a way that called to mind peak-career Hugh Grant.
“I’m, er, eh, erm, I—” Allen stammered, Hugh Grantishly.
Hint: it isn't Hugh Grant, but if you liked Mystery Show, you should be able to guess it. [note: a reference to a six-episode podcast from 2015 might be a bit too obscure at this point. Perhaps even too obscure when this was originally written, in 2017.]
Look, if you’ve read this far into my review you may as well just read the book.
Meet me at the Astor Place Starbucks and I’ll loan you my copy.
[addendum from the far future of 2025 (or the distant past, if you’re reading this in my future): you cannot go to the Astor Place Starbucks. ˙◠˙]
